In the workforce, everyone receives an annual performance review—even horror icons like Michael Myers. Since 1978, Michael Myers has demonstrated his perseverance in pursuing his sister, Laurie Strode, nearly a dozen times!

The Horror Icons of America Guild (HIAG) recently completed Michael’s latest performance review, and this lucky reporter was able to secure a copy to share with you!

Horror Icons of America
Performance Review
Employee Info
Employee Name Michael Myers Department Horror
Employee ID 10312018 Reviewer Name Jason Voorhees
Position Held Horror Legend Reviewer Title Supervisor
Last Review Date August 28, 2009 Today’s Date October 19, 2018
Current Responsibilities
●     Eliminate the family tree including Laurie Strode and any other siblings or relatives.
●     Avoid capture by Dr. Loomis and any related psychology and law enforcement staff.
●     Successfully escape from mental hospitals or secure police transportation.
Performance Assessment
Evaluate performance and achieved goals.
Mr. Myers displays a tremendous drive for results as observed in 10 different attempts to eliminate his family bloodline.
He has consistently displayed perseverance and dedication to his work by working extremely late hours and overcoming obstacles (usually in the form of teenage miscreants).
He demonstrates a commitment to the work by overcoming gunshots, fiery explosions, and multiple stab wounds in his efforts to remain alive. This commitment goes above and beyond the expectation for our employees.
Despite these strong leadership behaviors, Mr. Myers has failed to successfully capture and eliminate Laurie Strode numerous times, despite the opportunity being presented to him every few years.
Discuss areas of improvement.
Improve communication. Though he is fully capable of speech, Mr. Myers rarely communicates verbally. Establishing better communication as he interacts with others will help him achieve his goals. Pursuing a local Toastmasters International club is encouraged.
Avoid distractions. Mr. Myers should avoid distractions, such as approaching college students in compromising situations. Doctors, nurses, police officers, security guards, and any other people should be avoided. This will enable Mr. Myers to focus clearly on his main goals.
Apply critical thinking. At nearly 62 years of age, Mr. Myers should have a lifetime of experience to learn from and apply to problems and challenges. He would benefit from better decision making and learn to avoid gunshots or taking on knife attacks head on. Although he pursues work at his own pace, he could achieve his goals faster by running versus his slow mechanical walk.
Improve teamwork. Given Mr. Myers has failed to achieve his goals multiple times over the past four decades, he should look to leverage a team of movie monsters rather than pursue his target alone. He is encouraged to speak with Vlad the Impaler, the entire Aliens department, and the cast of the Wrong Turn franchise on how to build a team for effective execution. He should also note the failures from Frederick Krueger, Charles Lee Ray, and Norman Bates for future lessons learned.
Develop future goals with set expectations.
For 40 years, Mr. Myers has been trying to eliminate his sister, Laurie Strode. Through his previous 10 attempts, Mr. Myers has only been successful once in attaining his goal; however, multiple reboots have resulted in him having to start from scratch. Our hope is that, with the next installment of the Halloween series, Mr. Myers will exceed expectations.
Comments and Approval
Provide any additional feedback.
●     Employee declined to provide feedback or acknowledge the review.
Employee Signature Reviewer Signature

Happy Halloween!

Michael Myers—Performance Review was last modified: October 18th, 2018 by Andy Makar